Judge Away

As a wife, sister, daughter, director, student, CNA, decorator, cleaner I OFTEN feel inadequate. I think it's a woman thing. And might I just say how thankful I am for Casey. He tells me it's ridiculous. He reminds me to stop comparing myself to others. He reminds me it doesn't matter. And I'm so grateful that I'm finally catching on!

So, I'm going to be real-

○ I love visitors. It terrifies me when people don't call first. I definitely don't wear a bra after work and I think our house is a pig sty.
○love our dogs. Hate their hair. It's impossible to keep clean. Or at least for me. I judge myself when people come over.
○I sucked in college. I'll be real. Going back makes me sick to my stomach, because I am afraid of failure.
○Casey is crazy smart and we are talking about Masters programs. Intimidating.
○Casey makes more money then I do. By a lot. I once got called a gold digger. While I'm not, it still affects me at least weekly.
○I never finish my craft projects. The last one sat inside the front door for two weeks.
○I need to loose some weight. I just love food and coke so much. I feel like a blob when I see pictures of me.
○I am addicted to coke. (The liquid beverage, obvi)
○I had a few really bad years. I am so thankful I am no longer miserable. But man I wish I could get those years back.
○I only snowboard the bunny hills. I'm a slow learner.
○I wish I was better at my job.
○I miss being a CNA and want to keep my certificate current, but again I worry I don't have enough time to be good at it.
○I didn't do my visiting teaching from May to August.
○Teaching Primary is hard. Really hard.
○I don't go to the temple enough.
○I've made cookies for the neighbors once. It's about the same number of times I've made them in my life.

Okay, I've had enough. I feel so free. I only write this because it needed to come out. No one is perfect! I can't look at others lives and compare their accomplishments to where I feel mine are lacking. I work full time. My house probably isn't as clean as someone elses. My job is hard, we probably do eat out more than most families.  I'm freakin tired when I get home. But I'll get there. I'll get good at this wife stuff.

Then we'll have a baby. And life as we know it will change again.

Happy Wednesday.