So, I suck at blogging. There's that. I would make an old fashioned promise to get better but, I won't. And I don't like making promises I can't keep.
Growing up, I took dance classes. I wasn't terrific but it got my cardio in. In high school, I got to go to Gold's Gym every other day for a semester. Bomb! Throughout it all, I thought I was fat. There are pictures of me when I'm 3 and my thighs touch. So, I always felt like a chub. Looking back (especially to my junior high years), I wish I could write to myself- a 00 is not fat. Cherish this time before your metabolism crashes!
In college, I steadily gained a few pounds each year. My biggest problem has always been eating healthy. I am a horrible eater. Horrible. I eat fast food at least once a day. At the very least.
Enter marriage-
I thought once I was married I would do better. We are on a budget and good wives cook dinner. We ate out at least 4 times a week for most of that first year. I blamed it on working too much and being tired when I got home. Casey would agree and off we would go. I felt like a bad wife. Casey should come home to a clean house, laundry done, and dinner ready. (Hello inner 1950's sexist) He never has. Case has never once complained. He will cook, he will do dishes. I really did get super lucky with him. Inside though, I still felt like I wasn't being a good enough wife. Occassionally, Case and I would go for a run (be real- my run is any other person's speed walk.) Still, I was packing on the pounds. I sit at a desk 96% of the time and eat like crap. What did I expect to happen?! A few months ago, I decided I was fed up. I drank a large McDonald's coke everyday without fail. I do not do well without my coke. (This deserves it's own post recognition and it will get it ASAP) I decided to be done. And, I was. I did not have 1 drop of coke for a whole month!! My friend, Alycia told me I looked better. I think that I look better- less bloated, but no weight loss. That's fine. I just want to feel good. I will occassionally get a coke, dr. Pepper, or sprite now. I just watch how much of each I get a week so I can make sure I am not developing a dependence on one.
I'm still not happy with how I look. I feel like a fat wife. Case has never said or done anything to make me feel this way. It's a me issue. But it's one I don't like and I am going to change.
I had Casey measure me (2/16/14) to get my starting numbers. I felt so embarrassed. He says he is proud of me and I'm always hot.
*Yeah, he's going to think hot when I wear skanky swimwear on our cruise!! Woot, woot! *
Then, Monday, February 17, I started Beachbody's 21 Day Fit! I plan on updating each day. I'll feel more accountable. And, spoiler alert, it's already working! ♡ IT!
Last, we all have different shapes. We will all probably all have things we want to change, but no one should feel so down on theirself that they don't feel like trying. Just be happy with yourself and if you don't like something (outside or in), improve it! Goals are what make you better! Love yourself!
